Omg...


Tom says:
i dont know u hate me just wanted to wreck things fopr me
† The Kid † - Yoohoo! I'll Make You Famous... - There's More To Slip Then A Cut And A Lip - I Will Finish the Game... says:
LMAO!!
† The Kid † - Yoohoo! I'll Make You Famous... - There's More To Slip Then A Cut And A Lip - I Will Finish the Game... says:
Yeah Tom..i 'hate' you
† The Kid † - Yoohoo! I'll Make You Famous... - There's More To Slip Then A Cut And A Lip - I Will Finish the Game... says:
god your an idiot sometimes
Tom says:
yes
Tom says:
yes
Tom says:
so what?
Tom says:
i fucking hate you
Tom says:
i wish u were fucking dead
Tom says:
i wish u were in so much fuckin pain
Tom says:
i wish i could buy cancer i would giv u some


I've never felt so low in my how life..

Her hair was up in a pony tail,
her favorite dress tied with a bow.
Today was Daddy's Day at school,
and she couldn't wait to go.


But her mommy tried to tell her,
that she probably should stay home.
Why the kids might not understand,
if she went to school alone.


But she was not afraid;
she knew just what to say.
What to tell her classmates
of why he wasn't there today.


But still her mother worried,
for her to face this day alone.
And that was why once again,
she tried to keep her daughter home.


But the little girl went to school
eager to tell them all.
About a dad she never sees
a dad who never calls.



There were daddies along the wall in back,
for everyone to meet.
Children squirming impatiently,
anxious in their seats


One by one the teacher called
a student from the class.
To introduce their daddy,
as seconds slowly passed.


At last the teacher called her name,
every child turned to
stare.
Each of them was searching,
a man who wasn't there.


"Where's her daddy at?"
she heard a boy call out.
"She probably doesn't have one,"
another student dared to shout.


And from somewhere near the back,
she heard a daddy say,
"Looks like another deadbeat dad,
too busy to waste his day."


The words did not offend her,
as she smiled up at her Mom.
And looked back at her teacher,
who told her to go on.


And with hands behind her back,
slowly she began to speak.
And out from the mouth of a child,
came words incredibly unique.


"My Daddy couldn't be here,
because he lives so far away.
But I know he wishes he could be,
since this is such a special day.


And though you cannot meet him,
I wanted you to know.
All about my daddy,
and how much he loves me so.


He loved to tell me stories
he taught me to ride my bike.
He surprised me with pink roses,
and taught me to fly a kite.


We used to share fudge sundaes,
and ice cream in a cone.
And though you cannot see him.
I'm not standing here alone.


"Cause my daddy's always with me,
even though we are apart
I know because he told me,
he'll forever be in my heart"


With that, her little hand reached up,
and lay across her chest.
Feeling her own heartbeat,
beneath her favorite dress.


And from somewhere here in the crowd of dads,
her mother stood in tears.
Proudly watching her daughter,
who was wise beyond her years.


For she stood up for the love
of a man not in her life.
Doing what was best for her,
doing what was right.


And when she dropped her hand back down,
staring straight into the crowd.
She finished with a voice so soft,
but its message clear and loud.


"I love my daddy very much,
he's my shining star.
And if he could, he'd be here,
but heaven's just too far.


You see he was a policeman
and died just this past year
When airplanes hit the towers
and taught Americans to fear.


But sometimes when I close my eyes,
it's like he never went away."
And then she closed her eyes,
and saw him there that day.


And to her mothers amazement,
she witnessed with surprise.
A room full of daddies and children,
all starting to close their eyes.


Who knows what they saw before them,
who knows what they felt inside.
Perhaps for merely a second,
they saw him at her side.


"I know you're with me Daddy,"
to the silence she called out.
And what happened next made believers,
of those once filled with doubt.


Not one in that room could explain it,
for each of their eyes had been closed.
But there on the desk beside her,
was a fragrant long-stemmed pink rose.


And a child was blessed, if only for a moment,
by the love of her shining star.
And given the gift of believing,
that heaven is never too far.


They say it takes a minute to find a special
person, an hour to appreciate them,
a day to love them, but then an entire
life to forget them.

I feel like shit...my friend Tom has overdosed, and spent his time fucking slashing at his arms..then turned round and said that it's MY FAULT..


But, how is it?


The guy sat there on cam and started cutting himself and there was blood everywhere...seriously, there was LOADS of it..and then he started fucking taking these pills..he was like 'How many shall I take' and he was like '1, 2, 3, 4, 5...'


What a twat!


And doing it on cam aswell!!???


I sat there crying my eyes out..it really upset me, and he was just like...'You don't care'


Fuck him..he's an asshole.

Isn't it horrible when your friends think that YOUR the reason her and her ex arent speaking?


Well, yes..I am the one who got the blame, and, im not even quite sure wtf I did wrong, APPARENTLY I was trying to get her boyfriend to dump her and get her together with her ex..oh yes, I was shocked aswell.


Isn't it nice to know that your 'Friends' will so freely screw you over to save there own necks.


It's true..and im completly confused as to how I apparently made them hate each other..but, how the fuck can she say that! All she did was slag him off, 24/7 and now, all of a sudden it's MY fault.


She always has to have someone to blame, and as long as it's not her she's happy, seriously, this girl will hang anyone to protect herself.


So yeah, im fucked off because she is supposed to be my best friend, not spend her time trying to get people to hate me.


Fuck her...I can't be arsed with it anymore, why do I always get screwed over.


Fuck you all.

Well...Ian has gone to Spain, and he is due back Saturday morning..but, he hasent replied to ANY of my texts, and he seem's to be ignoring my phone calls..but why?


Im really sick of this, maybe Tom was right..


Im sick of men, im sick of relationships, and im sick of being treated like a piece of shit.


Fuck it.


I don't need men...I've got my friends.


One of my friends sent me this little poem in a text message when I told her about it, and, I thought it was really sweet, so, here we go..=]


I look at my friends then I look at me.
Without my hunny's, where would I be?
My friends, my sisters, my shadow, my world.
Where would I be, without my girls?


Tears, giggles, smiles and laughs,
late night calls and cute photographs.
I'll be there for you until the day of my death
Best girlies forever, until my last very breath...


Isn't that amazing?


It pretty much somes everything up.

It's true!

I wish a fanny licking whore, because im absoloutly shit with men, seriously, I've had enough.

I went to see Rob to give him his hoody back, ya know, to symbolise 'The End' which, basically fucked me off, because I just wanted us to be friends, but, obviously not!

He just said that he couldn't stay friends with me because he want's to 'Be with me'...and, in a way I do want to be with him, but when he makes me feel like shit (Which he has been doing alot lately) I begin to hate him. Especially when he slagged me off to my brother, Pip, Zed and Dan, that really fucked me off...oh yeah..and hacking my account, and sending a 'Heart felt' email to my mate (At the time) Pip and her boyfriend, wtf is that about???

But, apart from his 'Fucked up' moments he can be a nice lad =]

*Grrr*

And then we come to Ian...OK, I REALLY like him, he treats me like a Queen, seriously, it's amazing...BUT..he's 11 years older then me...now, it doesn't really bother me, but then again it does.

He picked me up on Sunday and we had a good time, had a laugh, went for a few drinks and a meal (GORGEOUS chinese restaurant) and, well..Im not going to lie, I was a wee bit drunk and, we went back to his, and, he asked me to stay the night, and I felt that it was WAY to fast, I mean, we've been on 3 dates, and NOW im thinking that it's just a 'sex thing'

I mean, he rang me last night, (Again, he was pretty drunk) asking me to come down to Ashby for a few drinks, and I said no, so he said he was going to get a taxi to pick me up and take me to his to stop over...that's the SECOND time, wtf is he playing at? I've told him not to call me when he's drunk anymore, because he get's EXTREMELY suggestive..and im not ready to sleep with him yet, I don't even know if I will because of the way he is being.

But wait...there is more to this twisted tale...

Keith..oh yes, I haven't forgotten about this fool.

This is the guy who I have dated most of my life, seriously, first love and all that shizzle..who decides to just turn up at my house after about 6 years.

It was FANTASTIC seeing him...a week later I spent three days round his house, no sex involved, not even a kiss, just lot's of alcohol, daring drives and very loud music.

Again, fantastic, he even cooked for me, then it all went sour..he got back with his ex (Some chavvy slut) and I ended up having an argument with her, then he decides not to talk to me because Nadine is 'His world' what bullshit!

Anyway, a few week's later, Im on my way to Ian's and who text's me but Keith, telling me he has split up with Nadine, and, I asked him why, and told him that I had warned him about her.

But yeah, now he want's to see me again.

So, Im kind of 'torn' between 3 people...which is weird for me, because..well, Im not going to lie, but...Im basically fat (Hahaha) and not that attractive (seriously, you will have seen better looking beach whales)

I found it hard to find a 'Mr. Right' then three people come along...you see why im confused?

Right...let's sum them up shall we.

Rob - Really loving guy, would jump of a cliff if I asked him too...just a tad too sensitive...can be really harsh to me when he's in a bad mood..BUT..he did love me, well, so he says.

He's a generally good guy who could do so much better then me, I do still care for him, but im not sure if him and me could last, we just seem to argue too much..

Ian - Amazing guy, treats me like a Queen, owns his own buisness, has everything a girl could want..but his age is a bit of problem, and now all his mates want to meet me, God know's why, but they all think im 'Amazing' if only they knew me...(Haha)

Im a bit worried that he's just after sex, as he only seem's to call me when he's drunk and then he's like 'Do you want to stop over?'

But when he's not drunk he's lovely, he even wants to take me to Spain with him next month, how nice is that!?

Keith - Love of my life..amazing person, best boyfriend I ever had..but seem's to fuck me around when his ex comes back into the picture.

Refuses to talk to me when she's around, and then he seem's to come 'Running back' when she disapears again.

You see my problem?

I could literally SCREAM

They all have there good points, but I just don't know!

Anyone got any ideas??

PLEASE!

Ya know...Pip's birthday was in August, and I obviously got her a present, I thought, yeah, it'll be here in time for her birthday...bollocks! I ordered it nearly 2 months ago and it has only just arrived this morning!!


First the fuckers sent it to Moira in Ireland (Twats) and then they said they'd sold out of that particular item and asked me if there was any other I wanted!


Can you fucking believe it!


Im happy that it's here, but im fucked off that it has taken this long.


Anyway, I'll post it to her tomorrow, so then I'll be happy =D

Well..Keith and Nadine are going back out again.

Its just cut me up, and I know its stupid, but..he was my first love, then he comes back out of no-where...and silly old me, asks to take things slow

The next thing, he's going back out with his ex, and I get a message saying that he wanted me to be the first to know

Yeah, just dig that knife in a little fucking deeper why don't you.

I've never been lucky in love, seriously, I suck at relationships..they don't last, they get bored of me, because I seriously am that much of a twat.

I never wanted to change myself for someone, but I feel like I have to now.

Why can I not just find someone who likes me for who I am? Someone who doesnt give a shit what I look like and how much I weigh...why can't I get a guy who likes me for WHO I am, not WHAT I am.

Good fucking luck with that one

Well, Keith's back with Nadine...he text me earlier, he was like 'I wanted you to be the first to know' go fucking bollocks!


I've never been so fucking upset, I just can't believe he's done it.


I feel like shit, and im so drained...and, to make matters worse, I can't see him anymore because that jumped up piece of shit is too fucking paranoid, and she wont let him see me because of our 'History'


I give up completly, I really do, im sick of being messed around and given false hope...I was stupid enough to think that something would happen with us again...but, I was wrong.


Silly Kerry...what a twat

Well, I went out last weekend with my friends, and I got chatted up by this guy called Ian, and after Keith being a twat, he suddenly rang me and asked me out for a drink..we went out, and we had a laugh, and, im a little bit drunk (Hahahaha) all in all it was great =]

BUT...I wasn't sure of his age and, I asked him, and he turned out fo be 31! HAHA!

Which isn't that old I guess, but he is lovely, and he has a BEAST of a car! It's true! I just about need a step ladder to get up!

He cheered me up alot aswell, so, im happy =]

Im still pissed off about Keith though...I seriously wanted him back =[

Oh well, I will have to see how it all goes.

I officially hate men


You can all go bollocks.


I've been messed around enough...and, I was right, because he has done it again...I feel like shit.


I can't even speak to anyone about it, because I don't trust them enough.


Silly Kerry...thought she found someone good for once, what a twat.

When im upset, and I know that it's my fault, I write down lyrics that say to that particular person what they mean to me...friends or not...I still mean them.



I guess this time you're really leaving
I heard your suitcase say goodbye
Well as my broken heart lies bleeding
You say true love, it's suicide


You say you've cried a thousand rivers
And now you're swimming for the shore
You left me drowning in my tears
And you won't save me anymore


I praying to God you'll give me one more chance, girl


I'll be there for you
These five words I swear to you
When you breathe I want to be the air for you
I'll be there for you
I'd live and I'd die for you
I'd Steal the sun from the sky for you
Words can't say what a love can do
I'll be there for you


I know you know we've had some good times
Now they have their own hiding place
Well I can't promise you tomorrow
But I can't buy back yesterday


And Baby you know my hands are dirty
But I wanted to be your valentine
I'll be the water when you get thirsty, baby
When you get drunk, I'll be the wine


I'll be there for you
These five words I swear to you
When you breathe I want to be the air for you
I'll be there for you
I'd live and I'd die for you
I'd Steal the sun from the sky for you
Words can't say what love can do
I'll be there for you


I wasn't there when you were happy
I wasn't there when you were down
I didn't mean to miss your birthday, baby
I wish I'd seen you blow those candles out


I'll be there for you
These five words I swear to you
When you breathe I want to be the air for you
I'll be there for you
I'd live and I'd die for you
I'd Steal the sun from the sky for you
Words can't say what love can do
I'll be there for...


I'll be there for you
These five words I swear to you
When you breathe I want to be the air for you
I'll be there for you
I'd live and I'd die for you
I'd Steal the sun from the sky for you
Words can't say what love can do
I'll be there for you.

OK..so, Pip isn't talking to me and I was like why!??

Anyway, 2 days before, Andrew had told her that Id said this pretty fucked up thing, and when I asked him about it, he said that it was a joke and that 'My friends talk aload of crap' I mean, a jokes a joke, and he did say that he told her it was and that she was just wanted attention, and that's why she brought it up blah blah blah....which, I personally think is aload of bollocks, but that's Andrew for you.

Anyway, I havent spoken to or about Pip since we spoke last, and now all of a sudden she's in a mardy...which can only mean Andrew has denied what he told me, and made up crap about me just to get at me.

The fact is, she shouldnt be slagging me off to him and vice-versa, she is always saying 'I wouldnt slag you off, you know im not like that' if that's true why is she believing my brother over me, even though he has lied to her SEVERAL times, and slagged her off...me, Ive never done it, but she still believes that tosser.

Im fucking sick of it, I don't know which im more pissed off about, the fact that she believes that bullshitter over me, or the face that she gets a mardy on with me without even telling me what was said.

I don't actually know if it IS Andrew...but, seeing as he is the only one that I know who will slag me off just to make conversation....so, in a way, I do know it's him.

It just shows you can't trust any fucker anymore...even your ex best friend will have a go for no reason, and believe someone else who they don't even know, over you.

We may not be friends, but I love that girl with all my fucking heart, and the fact that she thinks im lying is just horrible.

Ah well, I think I'll just stick with the 'Newbies' it's safer that way...=[

Hehehehe...well, Ive just come back from Keiths (Yay!) and I had sooooooo much fun!

I seriously did!

He cooked for me and his food is GORGEOUS! Seriously, he's the first guy that Ive known that can cook a good meal, and that's what it was.

It was really good seeing him, I had so much fun, and the ride to Maccies was fucking hilarious! (Sorry Rob lol)

We stayed up most nights just drinking, play fighting and having a laugh, oh, and cooking at 4am (Hehe)

I felt really good just being with him, he's just...so understanding...and, he's not afraid to tell me if I do something wrong

I can't wait to see him again, I really can't, but, I have to wait until Friday, but, we're going car shopping on Friday, so, that should be good, because I'll make him get a nice one lol.

Even after 6 years, we're still really comfortable with each other, I can talk to him about anything and not be afraid of what he will say...this is really rare for me, Ive never found somebody like him before, It just makes me think why did we ever end? I thought maybe we'd 'Grown apart' but, there is still one thing in my mind, and, it's will he break my heart again? Because he did it several times before, mind you..that was at school, but, you never know.

But..im still confused about who and what I want, oh well, hopefully it will all just fall in place..but, im happy, and I love spending time with Keith I seriously do =]

FUCK THIS, FUCK YOU, FUCK EVERYTHING!


You want me to lie?


Here's my lie...I DON'T GIVE A SHIT ABOUT YOU!


I can't do this anymore, im sick of it...im sick of trying, and im sick of arguing.


All this shit just for having feelings for someone, and for a stupid fucking blog...just for MY opinion!


And, for the last time...I NEVER KNEW ABOUT ALL THAT SHIT!


JUST FUCKING KILL ME!

Well, here we are again....im a little depressed....my first serious boyfriend Keith came to see me yesterday, after 6 years.....it was fantastic seeing him, but, in a way it was hard, because he broke my heart.

He's coming round again today, and im not sure if Im 'ready' for it, I mean, just look what happened with Kevin, I freaked out and because my ex was going mad about me dating him, I stopped it, and I havent spoken to him since...so, I've lost a good friend.

But, I don't know what to do about him, I don't know if I should give it another chance...he asked me out yesterday, and I said no...because of Rob, but now he's just acting like a tosser again, and for the past 2 days he's just made me feel like shit. So that makes me think I might aswell see how it goes with Keith.

Im so confused, and I have no clue what to do.

I hate being like this, in a way, torn between two people, Im not even sure if I would ever go out with Rob again, but, he's changed so much, he's become alot more caring, and then I think, well maybe we could start again, and then he spoils it all by being a bastard to me...I can't win, I try so hard, and just look what happens.

Urgh...Ive spoken to Dan about it, and he said, basically to do what I think is right for me...and I honestly think that giving Keith another chance would be a good idea, because he's changed so much...he's got a career up and running and everything, he has thing's going for him...and, Rob...well, at the minute, doesnt have anything, and that's not a bad thing, but, he's 21 and, well, he doesnt really do anything, and, to be honest, im not a little girl anymore, I want a good solid relationship that's going to last, and I need someone who has things going for them, not someone who has no ambition, it may sound like im asking for alot, but im not...I want things to last...and, to be honest, we don't really have that much in commen, but, Ive known and dated Keith most of my life, and we were surprised when we realised how much we actually have in commen...it was actually quite scary lol.

Is it harsh to want someone stable? Is it big-headed and/or 'selfish'...because I don't think it is..my career is falling into place, just how I want it..as is Keith's...he even has his own place...and, then I think, what can Rob offer me? Love? But can he?

Can any of them really offer me stability and love?

Because if im honest, I don't think either of them can...but, Keith will always be a good friend and a FANTASTIC drinking buddy (Hehe) but Rob isn't even a friend at the minute, because we keep arguing...I seriously don't know what to do..because if I date Keith, I will lose Rob, and if I date Rob, I will lose Keith...and I don't want to lose either of them.

This is tearing me apart...I need advice =[

OK......Well, im a retard basically lol

I thought my audition was Wednesday 12th until Thursday 13th.

BUT I WAS WRONG!

It's actually Thursday 13th until Friday 14th

You don't know how happy I am that it isn't Friday 13th, im not supersticious, it's just, this means so much to me and I dont want any funny dates messing it up, but, knowing me, if I don't pass, Id just say it was due to it being Friday 13th =P

AND!

Yes, it get's better.......

I FIND OUT MY RESULT ON THE FRIDAY

How fucking good is that!?

That means if I pass I can go out on the piss with my friends to celebrate, but, knowing me, Id go out anyway lol!

My friends never need an excuse =]

But, yeah...

HURRAH!

xXx

OK, my audition is in three days, and, I had an argument with my mum, and she turned round and said that im wasting my time, and everybody elses' because I'll never pass it, I was like, yeah, thanks for that mum, kick me when im down why don't you

I was crying my eyes out, and I feel like shit.

I couldn't believe it, she was the only one who ever gave me support, and now she's being a total bitch, I just don't understand her =[

So, now I have ONE person who is actually being supportive, and making me feel good about this audition, and, yet again, it's Pip, I seriously don't know what Id do without her.

But, im just hoping everything will go OK.

I cant be arsed to tell all my friends whats up, as, I cant be arsed to be in a 'Depressed' mood, and have them asking me several questions

Im just trying to stay positive

I mean, I know my scales and appergios and my pieces and everything, it's just nerves.

I played in front of my parents the other day, and I kept making mistakes, because they were watching me, and im just afraid that it's going to happen on Thursday, and im terrified.

Im just gonna try and not think about it

I have a feeling im going to fuck it up, arrgh, I really hope not.

xXx

I feel like shit

I just feel so drained, I dont have the energy to do anything.

I've got a sore throat, a headache and im hungry, but when I eat, I feel sick.

And I miss my friends, I havn't seen them for ages, and I havn't seen Pip for nearly a month now =[

I hate feeling like this, because I tend to get irritable and then I snap at people.

*Grrrrr*

Give me morphine and lots of it!

xXx

My best friend Pip =]

I've known her for about 9 months, and, even though we've had our ups and downs, she means the world to me, and I wouldn't change her for the world!